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Don Lemon Kills Parody, Tells Chris Cuomo ‘Jesus Wasn’t Perfect’

Don Lemon Kills Parody, Tells Chris Cuomo ‘Jesus Wasn’t Perfect’

It was a good game, Babylon Bee. We see you, The Onion. But sometime in the previous century, one man and one woman conceived Don Lemon, dooming parody for all time. CNN trotted out their two shortest straws for a fight to the deathly stupid. In one corner, Chris Cuomo, the other dumb meathead. In the opposite corner, Don Lemon, who said on television to dozens of people watching live, that Jesus Christ wasn’t perfect. I bread and wine you not.

“Jesus Christ, if that’s who you believe in, admittedly was not perfect when He was here on this earth. So why are we deifying the Founders of this country?”

I also noticed that, though looking just as confused as ever, Chris Cuomo offered no rebuttal. Amen, amen I say to you, where two or more fools are gathered in ignorance’s name, there is plenty of mocking not to be missed.

One: Jesus Christ, who the Christians believe in, yes, is perfect. On earth. In heaven. Be he surfing the clouds, or fitting a Malm dresser on his Ikea cart, Jesus the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, is perfection. In every sense of the word. He is the way, the truth, the life. The only begotten son of God. The Son in “The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.” Etcetera, etcetera, lather, rinse, repent. Hence Christians deify a deity who is perfect.

We clear on this point, or do I need to sing a new song unto the Lord?

Two: Who in Jesus’ name is deifying the Founders of this country? I’m noticing a trend among the ignorant: a failure to understand words, and how different words mean different things. It’s possible to respect someone even though they are, or were, imperfect. Erecting a statue or monument of something isn’t the worshipping of something. I know this is also confusing to many ardent protestants. A statue or monument isn’t an idol, it’s a physical representation of something so that what it represents can live on after the physical body dies. So that we might remember it. See also: photographs and portraits.

Multiple things can be true at once: Jesus is perfect. The Founders were imperfect. One needn’t be perfect to have a monument or statue. However many statues are torn down in the course of human events, they all have more intelligence in one cubic inch of granite than Don Lemon will ever muster in every synapse of the head mush anatomy books have labeled a brain.

But at least he’s good for a little pointing and laughing at, that Don Lemon.

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